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TOPIC: Am I a lesbian?

Am I a lesbian? 5 years 2 weeks ago #7431

  • Wits6464
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Well How to start here.

I'm a new member to this site which I'm happy to finally found. I have a question that I could really not answer to myself whether yes or not.

The thing is I've been married with a Thai guy for 3 years now. And in relationship for over 10 years as bf/gf. However, I feel like there is something missing could not say I'm not happy. And questions always come to my mind? Why?

I used to have gf when I was in high School. and I also dated girls. My g/f is not Tom either am I. I just like women and their curve. I still remember the feeling when kissing with them. It was the best feeling ever. If I see a nice girl & nice guy, I always spot the girl and never care about a guy.

Here comes a question "Am I a lesbian?"
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Re: Am I a lesbian? 5 years 1 week ago #7432

  • Jazzed
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You might be... or you might be bisexual. For now!
Some people's sexuality does not change throughout their life, while I have friends who went through different phases.

My personal view is: follow your heart. As long as you do not hurt anyone, as long as you are open with your partners, letting them know your feelings e.g. confused? It is up to them to go on and explore a relationship with you. Just don't make promises you cannot keep. Actually this sort of honesty applies to ALL relationships :-)
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Re: Am I a lesbian? 5 years 1 week ago #7435

  • 2Worldsin1
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Hey Wits6464,

Noticed your question....

Perhaps this would help.. Have you ever heard of the Kinsey Scale? If not, basically it's a terminology that we use here in the States.

Kinsey Scale

100% straight 100% gay
^
bisexual

The Kinsey scale explains that sexuality has its extremes: one side being 100% straight and the other extreme is 100% gay. With the middle as the grey area (bisexuality). The arrow in the middle moves in all sorts of directions ( more right or more left or stays in the middle ). It visually describes how a person view's their sexuality based upon their attraction, experiences, and etc.

So what I'm trying to explain is that a person's own definition of their sexuality is not always cut and dry. Labels have been used to help figure out some of the confusion, but not everyone fits into those labels ( gay, straight, lesbian, tom, dee, femme, bisexual, transgendered, queer, or sexually fluid..etc ).

You would really need to look within yourself (true feelings) and try to sort out the inner confusion. Usually talking to like-minded & not judgemental friends or loved ones, or even like you just did..

Asking the ladies here on BKKLes :) I'm sure quite a few people are probably in the same boat as you. Trying to figure it all out. Believe me.. it's not easy, but once you discover what's right for yourself. There's much relieve at the end of the tunnel ;)

Hope this helps ya out Wits6464.

And would like to add.. I agree with "Jazzed" in response to your question. Honesty is a great policy to have in "All" relationships. There less drama in life :)

Best of luck!
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Re: Am I a lesbian? 4 years 10 months ago #7556

Hey im in the same boat with u !
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Re: Am I a lesbian? 4 years 9 months ago #7608

  • fioncelle
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Hi,

I was on the same page many years ago. I first thought I was straight, then bisexual, now I know I'm gay. It was a hard time and a long process, but finally knowing who you are was freeing. All I can say from retrospective is that if you were straight all along, you would not even have any doubts or even think about it in the first place, wouldn't you? I can tell you for sure, no straight woman ever would.

That being said, you now have 2 options, either bi or les. Your heart might already have told you where you belong, now you must only convince your mind. :) All the best to you!
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Re: Am I a lesbian? 4 years 9 months ago #7617

  • roxynemo
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YES! u are a lesbian :) Be proud, be happy that u at last got out of the "wardrobe" ! Hope all the best for u and that u will find a lovely gfriend
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Re: Am I a lesbian? 4 years 9 months ago #7643

  • fire_eagle79
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Chances are... yes you are gay as in Marvin Gaye.

But... why did you marry a guy? hmm... i think you should reflect it to yourself first if the attraction from women is even stronger than seeing the six packs of men or find them hunky and smokin' hot.

If you don't fancy them enough, then definitely you're a lesbian. It's gonna be a long process, i've been through that when I reached the late 20's and got confused as well, but i managed to control it and know to myself that i am gay and will die as gay.

The thing is, sometimes men can be bitter as hell specially when they found out that their rival is a woman. It will really bruise their ego big time. So better cut off the ties in a proper manner and stop fidgeting a broken bond if you think it's not worth holding on and it's no longer your turf.

Goodluck!
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Re: Am I a lesbian? 4 years 9 months ago #7645

  • GraviSun
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Marvin Gaye was straight.

But to answer your question, maybe. If you married your husband because you were legitimately attracted to him, then it's possible you're bi. Or, frankly, you could just be pansexual with a preference towards women.
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Am I a lesbian? 3 years 5 months ago #8472

  • Knisely852
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I wish there were an easy answer to the question, "Am I a lesbian?" but there is not. I think that people can be attracted to different people at different points in their lives. You admit that you are attracted to both males and females. Have you considered that you might be bisexual?

Iphone Porn
Last Edit: 3 years 5 months ago by Knisely852.
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Am I a lesbian? 3 years 5 months ago #8473

  • bambi
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Oh the Answer to this question is simple...

I am not a lesbian but my girlfriend is *smiles*
((It's a joke))
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Am I a lesbian? 3 years 4 months ago #8482

  • nOte
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There are many reasons people get married like having a normal life, having a baby, being in loved, etc. There are some or many of them might sneak around to have sex their same gender's friends. So, marriage does not identify that you're straight or gay or bisexual.

Are you gay? I think you're already knew but you're hesitating to accept it.
You may want to read this
Kubler-Ross_Model (Five stage of greif) It might help.

Good luck. :)

(Sorry if my English is not well written).
Last Edit: 3 years 4 months ago by nOte.
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Am I a lesbian? 3 years 4 months ago #8484

Love is love. If you feel it, you know it. Labels are a silly thing. Yes I see myself as lesbian but like to define it more as 'enchanted' :)
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Am I a lesbian? 3 years 3 months ago #8485

  • Letsftw
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Nope. Just a carpet muncher. Oops.. ;)
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Am I a lesbian? 3 years 3 months ago #8487

  • Zee35
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most of the women started out as bi/bi curious... but if there's already something missing in your life or in marriage doesn't mean you're already gay.

I guess what you're missing in your relationship is the adventure, excitement and intimacy... because you've been bf/gf for 10 years and got married eventually... some people takes a lot of years to realize if they are gay or not...

but try looking deep inside of you... what made you turned around to women just like this.

is it only the sex? is it the emotional bonding or both?

the last woman that i've been with...in just a few months that we are already living together...sex had died right away coz she's not really a lesbian...she's bi... but I never even thought of swaying my way into a man just to fill up the void...


so try to examine yourself if this is what you really want. Coz this might be just a phase.
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